Hello beautiful mamas. I recently covered this topic at my Monthly Mindful Mamas Circle and as not all of you could be there, I thought I would share some of the highlights.
Let’s talk about each component separately and then bring them together at the end.
Many of you will be aware of the concept of manifesting but for those of you who are not, here is a bit of a crash course for you. Manifesting means to bring something you are thinking into reality. Many people associate manifesting to money or material objects. For example, you really want a nice brand new red Mazda CX5 and so you visualise it, focus on it, go test drive it and keep believing that it is already yours. Or you may manifest a new pair of shoes or a new fridge (only a mama would do that right). Manifesting ‘financial abundance’ is always a hot topic too, as in bringing more money into your life.
But manifesting is not just about money or things. You can manifest a happy day, stronger relationships, a healthier body… the list is endless.
The idea is that the more we focus on something, the more if flows into our life. Thoughts become things!
Some of the key things I have learned in relation to manifesting are:
- Keep it general – I was quite specific in my earlier example of the car but if you are wanting a new car, the more general you are, the quicker the Universe can help you manifest it.
- Don’t worry about the ‘how’ – do not stop believing in something just because you cannot conceive of how it will happen. The how is not your concern, leave that up to the Universe.
- It’s all about the feeling – how you feel about what you are manifesting is of the utmost importance. Using the car example, imagine how you are going to feel driving it and how you will feel seeing it in your driveway every day.
- You cannot control other people – trying to manifest something that relies on a specific person to behave a certain way is most likely going to leave you disappointed. For example, if you want your best friend to move back from Costa Rica because you miss her, this might not happen as she might be manifesting other things that do not align with your wishes.
So what is your idea of Joyful Parenting? This could mean many things to many people so it’s important for you to figure out what it means for you. Some ideas might be:
- Happy, healthy kids
- Happy, healthy mama and kids
- Lots of quality time with kids/family time
- Kids doing what you ask them with no arguments (is that even possible :P)
- No fighting or yelling (parents and/or kids)
- Hassle free morning and bedtime routines
- All of the above (the ultimate goal right!?!?)
OK, once you’ve established what it is that you would like more of, have a think of how it will make you feel once you have that.
For example, let’s say at the moment it seems like the kids never do what you ask them to do, they have lots of meltdowns and tantrums, they fight with each other and yell a lot which in turn causes you to lose your cool, get stressed and possibly yell a lot too. Now close your eyes, take a deep breath and imagine the opposite. Imagine having lots of fun with the kids, lots of cuddles, they do what you ask (most of the time) and the yelling and tantrums reduce significantly. How will that make you feel? Really try and feel what that would be like. Hold that feeling.
Now let’s go back to what I said before about what you focus on, that’s what will flow. So if you are always thinking, “my kids never listen to me”, “I’m sick of the kids fighting and yelling all the time”, “I’m sick of feeling like I have no control”… then these things will continue. But if you choose to focus on enjoying the moment, having fun with the kids, working with them to help you when you ask them to do things… over time, the energy will shift. You will be calmer. The kids will be calmer and overall there will be more harmony in your home.
It does take time to break old habits and at first it may not seem like this is working but believe me, over time it will work. I used to always think, “this is so hard”. And I just kept attracting situations that confirmed that it was all so hard. Once I started focusing on the moments that were fun and easy and thinking about how I could bring more fun and ease into my life, everything started to change.
If you would like any more tips on how to manifest joyful parenting or manifesting other things into your life, I offer one-on-one coaching sessions via zoom or facetime. Just contact me here and we can work out a time!